אבן העזר נ״בEven HaEzer 52

Se’if 1א׳

הַפּוֹסֵק מָעוֹת לַחֲתָנוֹ וְהָלַךְ הָאָב לִמְדִינָה אַחֶרֶת, אוֹ שֶׁאֵין לוֹ, יְכוֹלָה הִיא לוֹמַר לַבַּעַל: אֲנִי לֹא פָּסַקְתִּי עַל עַצְמִי, אוֹ כְּנֹס בְּלֹא נְדוּנְיָא אוֹ פָּטְרֵנִי בְּגֵט. אֲבָל אִם פָּסְקָה הִיא עַל עַצְמָהּ, וְלֹא הִגִּיעַ יָדָהּ, הֲרֵי זוֹ יוֹשֶׁבֶת עַד שֶׁתִּמְצָא מַה שֶּׁפָּסְקָה אוֹ עַד שֶׁתָּמוּת. בַּמֶּה דְבָרִים אֲמוּרִים, בִּגְדוֹלָה; אֲבָל בִּקְטַנָּה שֶׁפָּסְקָה עַל עַצְמָהּ, כּוֹפִין אוֹתוֹ לִתֵּן גֵּט, אוֹ יִכְנֹס בְּלֹא נְדוּנְיָא. הַגָּה: וְכָל זֶה כְּשֶׁאֵין יַד הָאִשָּׁה מַשֶּׂגֶת לִתֵּן מַה שֶּׁפָּסַק אָבִיהָ, אֲבָל אִם יָדָהּ מַשֶּׂגֶת צְרִיכָה לִתֵּן מַה שֶּׁפָּסַק אָבִיהָ, וְאֵינָה יְכוֹלָה לוֹמַר: כְּנֹס אוֹ פְּטֹר (הַגָּהוֹת אַלְפָסִי פֶּרֶק שָׁנוּ דַּיָּנֵי גְּזֵרוֹת וּתְשׁוּבַת מַיְמוֹנִי סוֹף הִלְכוֹת אִשּׁוּת). וְכָל זֶה לֹא מַיְרֵי אֶלָּא קֹדֶם שֶׁנְּשָּׂאָה, אֲבָל לְאַחַר שֶׁנְּשָּׂאָה וַדַּאי לֹא יוּכַל לִבְגֹּד בְּאִשְׁתּוֹ מִשּׁוּם שֶׁאֵין נוֹתְנִין לוֹ מַה שֶּׁפָּסְקוּ לוֹ, אֶלָּא חַיָּב בְּכָל דָּבָר שֶׁאִישׁ חַיָּב לְאִשְׁתּוֹ (הַגָּהוֹת מָרְדְּכַי פֶּרֶק שְׁנֵי דַּיָּנֵי גְּזֵרוֹת). מִי שֶׁפָּסַק לָתֵת לְבִתּוֹ, וְאַחַר כָּךְ אוֹמֵר שֶׁנָּתַן לְבִתּוֹ, לָא מְהַנֵּי, אֶלָּא צָרִיךְ לָתֵת לַזּוּג (מַהֲרִי"ל סִימָן קל"ו). וְעַיֵּן לְעֵיל סִימָן ב' שֶׁלֹּא יִתְקוֹטֵט אָדָם בַּעֲבוּר נְדוּנְיָא אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁפָּסְקוּ לוֹ:

One who lists monies for his son-in-law and -- the father -- went to another country or has none: [the daughter] can tell [her] husband, "I did not list the money for myself. Either marry me without dowry or release me with a bill [of divorce]." However, if she listed [money] for herself and cannot afford [it, then] she sits [without nisu'in] until she will afford what she listed or die. About what are these words said? An adult. [In the case] of a minor, however, who listed [money] for herself, we force him to give a bill [of divorce], or he shall marry without dowry. Comment: And all this is [in the case] that the woman cannot afford what he father listed; if, however, she can afford [it], she's required to give what her father listed, and cannot say "marry or release" (the Fezzite's comments [to] chapter [Shenei] Dayyanei Gezerot, and Maimonidean responsum [at] the end of laws of sexuality). And all this is not taught unless [the situation is one] before he nisu'in-married her; after he nisu'in-married her, her certainly cannot betray his wife because they are not giving him what they listed for him: he is, rather, responsible for everything a man is responsible to his wife for (Mordechai comments [to] chapter Shenei Dayyanei Gezerot). One who listed [money] to give his daughter and thereafter says that he gave [it] to his daughter -- that doesn't help: rather, he must give [it] to the couple (Maharil chapter 136). See also above, chapter 2, that one should not be argumentative about dowry even though they listed it for him.