אבן העזר נ״הEven HaEzer 55

Se’if 1א׳

הָאֲרוּסָה, אֲסוּרָה לְבַעֲלָהּ מִדִּבְרֵי סוֹפְרִים, כָּל זְמַן שֶׁהִיא בְּבֵית אָבִיהָ; וְהַבָּא עַל אֲרוּסָתוֹ בְּבֵית חָמִיו, מַכִּין אוֹתוֹ מַכַּת מַרְדּוּת. הַגָּה: וַאֲפִלּוּ בְּיִחוּד אֲסוּרִים; וְלָכֵן אָרוּס שֶׁהוּא עִם אֲרוּסָתוֹ בְּבַיִת אֶחָד, מְבָרְכִין שֶׁבַע בְּרָכוֹת פֶּן יִתְיַחֲדוּ (מָרְדְּכַי פֶּרֶק קַמָּא דִּכְתֻבּוֹת). וְיֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים דְּאֵין לָהֶם לָדוּר בְּיַחַד, שֶׁמָּא יָקוּצוּ זֶה בָּזֶה (כָּל בּוֹ). וַאֲפִלּוּ בְּשִׁדּוּכִין בְּלֹא אֵרוּסִין יֵשׁ לָחוּשׁ (חִדּוּשֵׁי אֲגֻדָּה פֶּרֶק קַמָּא דִּכְתֻבּוֹת). אֲפִלּוּ אִם קִדְּשָׁהּ בְּבִיאָה, אָסוּר לוֹ לָבוֹא עָלֶיהָ בִּיאָה שְׁנִיָּה בְּבֵית אָבִיהָ, עַד שֶׁיָּבִיא אוֹתָהּ לְתוֹךְ בֵּיתוֹ וְיִתְיַחֵד עִמָּהּ וְיַפְרִישֶׁנָּה לוֹ; וְיִחוּד זֶה הוּא נִקְרָא כְּנִיסָה לְחֻפָּה, וְהוּא הַנִּקְרָא נִשּׂוּאִין בְּכָל מָקוֹם. וְהַבָּא עַל אֲרוּסָתוֹ לְשֵׁם נִשּׂוּאִין, אַחַר שֶׁקִּדְּשָׁהּ, מִשֶּׁיְּעָרֶה בָּהּ, קְנָאָהּ, וְנַעֲשֵׂית נְשׂוּאָה וַהֲרֵי הִיא כְּאִשְׁתּוֹ לְכָל דָּבָר. וְצָרִיךְ לְבָרֵךְ בִּרְכַּת חֲתָנִים בְּבֵית הֶחָתָן קֹדֶם הַנִּשּׂוּאִין. הַגָּה: וְיֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים דְּחֻפָּה אֵינוֹ יִחוּד, אֶלָּא כָּל שֶׁהֱבִיאָהּ הֶחָתָן לְבֵיתוֹ לְשֵׁם נִשּׂוּאִין (כֵּן כָּתַב הָרַ"ן בְּשֵׁם יֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים רֵישׁ כְּתֻבּוֹת). וְיֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים שֶׁהַחֻפָּה הִיא שֶׁפּוֹרְסִין סוּדָר עַל רֹאשָׁהּ בִּשְׁעַת הַבְּרָכָה (הַבֵּית יוֹסֵף הֱבִיאוֹ). וְיֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים דְּחֻפַּת בְּתוּלָה מִשֶּׁיָּצְאָה בְּהִינוּמָא; וְאַלְמָנָה, מִשֶּׁנִּתְיַחֲדוּ (תּוֹסָפוֹת פֶּרֶק קַמָּא דְּיוֹמָא). וְהַמִּנְהָג פָּשׁוּט עַכְשָׁו לִקְרוֹת חֻפָּה מָקוֹם שֶׁמַּכְנִיסִים שָׁם יְרִיעָה פְּרוּסָה עַל גַּבֵּי כְּלוֹנָסוֹת, וּמַכְנִיסִים תַּחְתֶּיהָ הֶחָתָן וְהַכַּלָּה בָּרַבִּים, וּמְקַדְּשָׁהּ שָׁם וּמְבָרְכִין שָׁם בִּרְכַּת אֵרוּסִין וְנִשּׂוּאִין, וְאַחַר כָּךְ מוֹלִיכִים אוֹתָם לְבֵיתָם וְאוֹכְלִים בְּיַחַד בְּמָקוֹם צָנוּעַ, וְזֶהוּ הַחֻפָּה הַנּוֹהֶגֶת עַכְשָׁו. וְעַיֵּן לְקַמָּן סִימָן ס"ב סְעִיף ט' וְסִימָן ס"א:

One who is merely engaged is forbidden to her husband according to the rabbis while she is still in her father's house, and one who has relations with his fiancee in his father-in-laws house receives lashes from the rabbis. [Rema: They are even forbidden to be secluded and therefore if an engaged couple are living together, they say the seven brachot lest they become secluded (Mordechai First Chapter of Ketubot). There are those who say they should not live together lest they become repulsed by one another]. Even with couples that are not engaged there is concern, even if they became engaged through relations, he cannot sleep with her a second time in her father's house until he brings her into his house, is secluded with her and separates her for himself, and this seclusion is known as entering into the Chuppah and it is called marriage in all places. One who sleeps with his fiancee for the purposes of marriage after he engaged her, once he enters her he has acquired her and she is married to him and is his wife, and they must say the Groom's blessings in the grooms house before the marriage. [Rema: There are those who say that the chuppah is not considered seclusion rather the groom must bring her into his house for the purposes of marriage (Thus says the Ran at the beginning of Ketubot) And there are those who say that the Chuppah is when they spread a cloth over her head at the time of the blessing, and there are those who say that a virgin's chuppah is when she goes out in a headdress and for a widow when they become secluded. The simple custom nowadays to call the chuppah a place where they place a cloth on poles and bring the groom and bride underneath in public and he engages her there and they say the blessings of engagement and marriage and then they walk them to their house and they eat together in a secluded places, this is how the chuppah is done now.]

Se’if 2ב׳

הַמְאָרֵס אֶת הָאִשָּׁה וּבֵרַךְ בִּרְכַּת חֲתָנִים, וְלֹא נִתְיַחֵד עִמָּהּ בְּבֵיתוֹ, עֲדַיִן אֲרוּסָה הִיא. שֶׁאֵין בִּרְכַּת חֲתָנִים עוֹשָׂה הַנִּשּׂוּאִין, אֶלָּא כְּנִיסָה לָחֻפָּה:

One who betroths a woman and says the blessing of bridegrooms, but has not been secluded with her in his house, she is still betrothed. For [it is] not the blessing of bridegrooms that effects marriage, rather bringing [the bride] under the marriage canopy [effects marriage].

Se’if 3ג׳

אֵרַס וְכָנַס לָחֻפָּה, וְלֹא בֵּרַךְ בִּרְכַּת חֲתָנִים, הֲרֵי זוֹ נְשׂוּאָה גְּמוּרָה, וְחוֹזֵר וּמְבָרֵךְ אֲפִלּוּ אַחַר כַּמָּה יָמִים. וְצָרִיךְ לִכְתֹּב כְּתֻבָּה קֹדֶם כְּנִיסָה לַחֻפָּה, וְאַחַר כָּךְ יִהְיֶה מֻתָּר בְּאִשְׁתּוֹ:

If he betrothed [her] and brought [her] under the marriage canopy, and did not recite the blessing of bridegrooms, behold she is entirely married, and he returns and recites the blessing even after several days. And he must write a ketubah before bringing [her] under the marriage canopy, and afterwards his wife is permitted to him.