אבן העזר ל״וEven HaEzer 36

Se’if 1א׳

הָאִשָּׁה יְכוֹלָה לַעֲשׂוֹת שָׁלִיחַ לְקַבֵּל קִדּוּשֶׁיהָ; וּמִצְוָה שֶׁתִּתְקַדֵּשׁ עַל יְדֵי עַצְמָהּ, אִם תּוּכַל, אֲבָל אִסוּר לֵיכָּא כְּמוֹ שֶׁיֵּשׁ בָּאִישׁ. וְאוֹמֵר הָאִישׁ לַשָּׁלִיחַ: "הֲרֵי פְּלוֹנִית שֶׁשָּׁלְחָה אוֹתְךָ מְקֻדֶּשֶׁת לִי", וְהַשָּׁלִיחַ אוֹמֵר: "קִדַּשְׁתִּיהָ לְךָ". וְאִם אָמַר: "הֵן", דַּיּוֹ. וַאֲפִלּוּ שָׁתַק, אִם הָיוּ עֲסוּקִין בְּאוֹתוֹ עִנְיָן וְנָתַן לַשָּׁלִיחַ וְלֹא פֵּרַשׁ וְלֹא אָמַר דָּבָר, דַּיּוֹ. וְאִם מְקַדְּשָׁהּ בִּשְׁטָר, אֵינוֹ כּוֹתְבוֹ אֶלָּא מִדַּעַת הַשָּׁלִיחַ. וְיֵשׁ מִי שֶׁאוֹמֵר, שֶׁאֵינוֹ כּוֹתְבוֹ אֶלָּא מִדַּעְתָּהּ:

The woman can appoint an emissary to accept her betrothal; and it is a mitzvah that she should be betrothed herself, if she can, but there is no prohibition as there is for a man. And the man says to the emissary: "Behold so-and-so who sent you is betrothed to me," and the emissary says: "I have betrothed her to you." And if he said: "Yes," it is enough. And even if he was silent, if they were dealing with the matter and he gave it to the emissary and did not explain and did not say anything, it is enough. And if he betroths her with a document, he only writes it with the knowledge of the emissary. And there is an opinion that he only writes it with her knowledge.

Se’if 2ב׳

בְּכָל הַדְּבָרִים שֶׁל קִדּוּשִׁין דִּין הָאִישׁ עִם שְׁלוּחָהּ כְּדִינוֹ עִם הָאִשָּׁה:

In all matters of engagement, the law of a man sending a messenger [to a woman] is the same as the man directly with the woman.

Se’if 3ג׳

אָמְרָה לַשָּׁלִיחַ: קַבֵּל הַקִּדּוּשִׁין בְּמָקוֹם פְּלוֹנִי, וְהוּא קִבְּלָם בְּמָקוֹם אַחֵר, אוֹ בְּכָל דָּבָר שֶׁיְּשַׁנֶּה בִּשְׁלִיחוּתָהּ, אֵינָהּ מְקֻדֶּשֶׁת:

If she said to the emissary: Accept the betrothal in a certain place, and he accepted it in a different place, or if he deviates from her instructions in any matter, she is not betrothed.