The Shulchan Aruch · Even HaEzer
אבן העזר כ״אEven HaEzer 21
Siman 21 of 178 in Even HaEzer — 7 se'ifim
הלכות אישותLaws of Marriage· siman 21
Se’if 1א׳
צָרִיךְ אָדָם לְהִתְרַחֵק מֵהַנָּשִׁים מְאֹד מְאֹד. וְאָסוּר לִקְרֹץ בְּיָדָיו אוֹ בְּרַגְלָיו וְלִרְמֹז בְּעֵינָיו לְאֶחָד מֵהָעֲרָיוֹת. וְאָסוּר לִשְׂחֹק עִמָּהּ, לְהָקֵל רֹאשׁוֹ כְּנֶגְדָּהּ אוֹ לְהַבִּיט בְּיָפְיָהּ. וַאֲפִלּוּ לְהָרִיחַ בִּבְשָׂמִים שֶׁעָלֶיהָ אָסוּר. וְאָסוּר לְהִסְתַּכֵּל בְּנָשִׁים שֶׁעוֹמְדוֹת עַל הַכְּבִיסָה. וְאָסוּר לְהִסְתַּכֵּל בְּבִגְדֵי צִבְעוֹנִים שֶׁל אִשָּׁה שֶׁהוּא מַכִּירָהּ, אֲפִלּוּ אֵינָם עָלֶיהָ, שֶׁמָּא יָבֹא לְהַרְהֵר בָּהּ. פָּגַע אִשָּׁה בַּשּׁוּק, אָסוּר לְהַלֵּךְ אַחֲרֶיהָ, אֶלָּא רָץ וּמְסַלְּקָהּ לַצְּדָדִין אוֹ לְאַחֲרָיו. וְלֹא יַעֲבֹר בְּפֶתַח אִשָּׁה זוֹנָה, אֲפִלּוּ בְּרִחוּק אַרְבַּע אַמּוֹת. וְהַמִּסְתַּכֵּל אֲפִלּוּ בְּאֶצְבַּע קְטַנָּה שֶׁל אִשָּׁה וְנִתְכַּוֵּן לֵהָנוֹת מִמֶּנָּה, כְּאִלּוּ נִסְתַּכֵּל בְּבֵית הַתֹּרֶף (פי', עֶרְוָה) שֶׁלָּהּ. וְאָסוּר לִשְׁמֹעַ קוֹל עֶרְוָה אוֹ לִרְאוֹת שְׂעָרָהּ. וְהַמִּתְכַּוֵּן לְאֶחָד מֵאֵלּוּ הַדְּבָרִים, מַכִּין אוֹתוֹ מַכַּת מַרְדּוּת. וְאֵלּוּ הַדְּבָרִים אֲסוּרִים גַּם בְּחַיָּבֵי לָאוִין:
A person must stay very far from women. He is forbidden to signal with his hands or his feet, or to hint with his eyes, to one of the arayos. He is forbidden to be playful with her, to be frivolous in front of her, or to look upon her beauty. Even to smell the perfume upon her is forbidden. He is forbidden to gaze at women doing laundry. He is forbidden to gaze at the colorful garments of a woman whom he recognizes, even if she is not wearing them, lest he come to have [forbidden] thoughts about her. If one encounters a woman in the marketplace, he is forbidden to walk behind her, but rather [must] run so that she is beside or behind him. One may not pass by the door of a promiscuous woman [or: a prostitute], even four cubits [around 6–8 ft or 2–2.5 m] distant. If one gazes even at the little finger of a woman with the intent to have pleasure from it, it is as though he gazed at her shameful place. It is forbidden to listen to the voice of an erva or to look at her hair. If one intentionally does one of these things, we give him lashes of rebellion. These things are also forbidden in the case of ordinary Biblical prohibitions.
Se’if 2ב׳
לֹא תֵּלַכְנָה בְּנוֹת יִשְׂרָאֵל פְּרוּעוֹת רֹאשׁ בַּשּׁוּק, אֶחָד פְּנוּיָה וְאֶחָד אֵשֶׁת אִישׁ:
Jewish women may not go with uncovered head in the marketplace, whether married or not.
Se’if 3ג׳
מֻתָּר לְהִסְתַּכֵּל בִּפְנוּיָה, לְבָדְקָהּ אִם הִיא יָפָה שֶׁיִּשָּׂאֶנָּה, בֵּין שֶׁהִיא בְּתוּלָה אוֹ בְּעוּלָה, וְלֹא עוֹד אֶלָּא שֶׁרָאוּי לַעֲשׂוֹת כֵּן. אֲבָל לֹא יִסְתַּכֵּל בָּהּ דֶּרֶךְ זְנוּת, וְעַל זֶה נֶאֱמַר: "בְּרִית כָּרַתִּי לְעֵינָי וּמָה אֶתְבּוֹנֵן עַל בְּתוּלָה" (אִיּוֹב לא, א):
It is permissible to gaze at an unmarried woman to determine if she is attractive, in order [to decide whether] to marry her, whether she is a virgin or not, and moreover it is fitting to do so. But he may not look at her in a promiscuous way, and about this it is said (Job 31:1): "I made a covenant with my eyes, and how can I look upon a virgin?"
Shulchan Aruch, Even HaEzer — Torat Emet 357 edition, via Sefaria — public domain
English: Shulchan Aruch, Wikisource, via Sefaria — CC BY-SA