הלכות דעות ב׳Human Dispositions 2

Halacha 1א׳

חוֹלֵי הַגּוּף טוֹעֲמִים הַמַּר מָתוֹק וּמָתוֹק מַר. וְיֵשׁ מִן הַחוֹלִים מִי שֶׁמִּתְאַוְּה וְתָאֵב לְמַאֲכָלוֹת שֶׁאֵינָן רְאוּיִין לַאֲכִילָה כְּגוֹן הֶעָפָר וְהַפֶּחָם וְשׂוֹנֵא הַמַּאֲכָלוֹת הַטּוֹבִים כְּגוֹן הַפַּת וְהַבָּשָׂר הַכּל לְפִי רֹב הַחלִי. כָּךְ בְּנֵי אָדָם שֶׁנַּפְשׁוֹתֵיהֶם חוֹלוֹת מִתְאַוִּים וְאוֹהֲבִים הַדֵּעוֹת הָרָעוֹת וְשׂוֹנְאִים הַדֶּרֶךְ הַטּוֹבָה וּמִתְעַצְּלִים לָלֶכֶת בָּהּ וְהִיא כְּבֵדָה עֲלֵיהֶם לִמְאֹד לְפִי חָלְיָם. וְכֵן יְשַׁעְיָהוּ אוֹמֵר בַּאֲנָשִׁים הַלָּלוּ (ישעיה ה כ) "הוֹי הָאֹמְרִים לָרַע טוֹב וְלַטּוֹב רָע שָׂמִים חשֶׁךְ לְאוֹר וְאוֹר לְחשֶׁךְ שָׂמִים מַר לְמָתוֹק וּמָתוֹק לְמָר". וַעֲלֵיהֶם נֶאֱמַר (משלי ב יג) "הַעֹזְבִים אָרְחוֹת ישֶׁר לָלֶכֶת בְּדַרְכֵי חשֶׁךְ". וּמַה הִיא תַּקָּנַת חוֹלֵי הַנְּפָשׁוֹת. יֵלְכוּ אֵצֶל הַחֲכָמִים שֶׁהֵן רוֹפְאֵי הַנְּפָשׁוֹת וִירַפְּאוּ חָלְיָם בַּדֵּעוֹת שֶׁמְּלַמְּדִין אוֹתָם עַד שֶׁיַּחֲזִירוּם לַדֶּרֶךְ הַטּוֹבָה. וְהַמַּכִּירִים בַּדֵּעוֹת הָרָעוֹת שֶׁלָּהֶם וְאֵינָם הוֹלְכִים אֵצֶל הַחֲכָמִים לְרַפֵּא אוֹתָם עֲלֵיהֶם אָמַר שְׁלֹמֹה (משלי א ז) "חָכְמָה וּמוּסָר אֱוִילִים בָּזוּ":

People with physical illnesses taste that which is bitter as sweet and that which is sweet as bitter, and there are some sick people who desire and crave foods which are not suitable for eating, such as dirt and charcoal, and hate good foods, such as bread and meat, all in accordance with the extent of the illness. Similarly, people whose souls are sick desire and love the negative traits and hate the good path and are indolent about following it, and it is extremely heavy upon them, in accordance with their illness. And so Yishayahu states regarding these people (Isaiah 5:20), "Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that change darkness into light, and light into darkness; that change bitter into sweet, and sweet into bitter!" and about them it stated (Proverbs 2:13), "Who leave the paths of uprightness, To walk in the ways of darkness." And what is the cure for the spiritually ill? They should go to the wise, who are healers of souls, and heal their illnesses through the traits that they teach them, until they return to the path of good. And those who recognize their negative traits but do not go to the wise to cure them, about them Shlomo stated (Proverbs 1:7), "the foolish despise wisdom and discipline."

Halacha 2ב׳

וְכֵיצַד הִיא רְפוּאָתָם. מִי שֶׁהוּא בַּעַל חֵמָה אוֹמְרִים לוֹ לְהַנְהִיג עַצְמוֹ שֶׁאִם הֻכָּה וְקֻלַּל לֹא יַרְגִּישׁ כְּלָל. וְיֵלֵךְ בְּדֶרֶךְ זוֹ זְמַן מְרֻבֶּה עַד שֶׁיִּתְעַקֵּר הַחֵמָה מִלִּבּוֹ. וְאִם הָיָה גְּבַהּ לֵב יַנְהִיג עַצְמוֹ בְּבִזָּיוֹן הַרְבֵּה וְיֵשֵׁב לְמַטָּה מִן הַכּל וְיִלְבַּשׁ בְּלוֹיֵי סְחָבוֹת הַמְבַזּוֹת אֶת לוֹבְשֵׁיהֶם וְכַיּוֹצֵא בִּדְבָרִים אֵלּוּ עַד שֶׁיַּעֲקֹר גֹּבַהּ הַלֵּב מִמֶּנּוּ וְיַחֲזֹר לַדֶּרֶךְ הָאֶמְצָעִית שֶׁהוּא דֶּרֶךְ הַטּוֹבָה. וְלִכְשֶׁיַּחֲזֹר לַדֶּרֶךְ הָאֶמְצָעִית יֵלֵךְ בָּהּ כָּל יָמָיו. וְעַל קַו זֶה יַעֲשֶׂה בִּשְׁאָר כָּל הַדֵּעוֹת אִם הָיָה רָחוֹק לַקָּצֶה הָאֶחָד יַרְחִיק עַצְמוֹ לַקָּצֶה הַשֵּׁנִי וְיִנְהֹג בּוֹ זְמַן רַב עַד שֶׁיַּחֲזֹר בּוֹ לַדֶּרֶךְ הַטּוֹבָה וְהִיא מִדָּה בֵּינוֹנִית שֶׁבְּכָל דֵּעָה וְדֵעָה:

And [what] is the cure? Someone who is an angry person, he is told to conduct himself [in such a way] that if he is struck and cursed he doesn't react at all, and to follow this path for a long time, until he has uprooted the anger from his heart. And if he is arrogant, he should accustom himself to great disgrace, sitting below everyone, wearing worn-out rags which humiliate their wearer, and so on with things like this, until he has uprooted the arrogance from himself and returned to the middle path which is the good path. And when he has returned to the middle path, he should follow it all his days. And along the same line, he should do for all other dispositions: if he is far to one extreme, he should put himself far to the other extreme and accustom himself to it for a long time, until he returns to the good path which is the moderate trait for each and every disposition.

Halacha 3ג׳

וְיֵשׁ דֵּעוֹת שֶׁאָסוּר לוֹ לָאָדָם לִנְהֹג בָּהֶן בְּבֵינוֹנִית אֶלָּא יִתְרַחֵק מִן הַקָּצֶה הָאֶחָד עַד הַקָּצֶה הָאַחֵר. וְהוּא גֹּבַהּ לֵב. שֶׁאֵין דֶּרֶךְ הַטּוֹבָה שֶׁיִּהְיֶה אָדָם עָנָו בִּלְבַד אֶלָּא שֶׁיִּהְיֶה שְׁפַל רוּחַ וְתִהְיֶה רוּחוֹ נְמוּכָה לִמְאֹד. וּלְפִיכָךְ נֶאֱמַר בְּמשֶׁה רַבֵּנוּ (במדבר יב ג) "עָנָו מְאֹד" וְלֹא נֶאֱמַר עָנָו בִּלְבַד. וּלְפִיכָךְ צִוּוּ חֲכָמִים מְאֹד מְאֹד הֱוֵי שְׁפַל רוּחַ. וְעוֹד אָמְרוּ שֶׁכָּל הַמַּגְבִּיהַּ לִבּוֹ כָּפַר בָּעִקָּר שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (דברים ח יד) "וְרָם לְבָבֶךָ וְשָׁכַחְתָּ אֶת ה' אֱלֹקֶיךָ". וְעוֹד אָמְרוּ בְּשַׁמָּתָא מַאן דְּאִית בֵּיהּ גַּסּוּת הָרוּחַ וַאֲפִלּוּ מִקְצָתָהּ. וְכֵן הַכַּעַס מִדָּה רָעָה הִיא עַד לִמְאֹד וְרָאוּי לָאָדָם שֶׁיִּתְרַחֵק מִמֶּנָּה עַד הַקָּצֶה הָאַחֵר. וִילַמֵּד עַצְמוֹ שֶׁלֹּא יִכְעֹס וַאֲפִלּוּ עַל דָּבָר שֶׁרָאוּי לִכְעֹס עָלָיו. וְאִם רָצָה לְהַטִּיל אֵימָה עַל בָּנָיו וּבְנֵי בֵּיתוֹ אוֹ עַל הַצִּבּוּר אִם הָיָה פַּרְנָס וְרָצָה לִכְעֹס עֲלֵיהֶן כְּדֵי שֶׁיַּחְזְרוּ לַמּוּטָב יַרְאֶה עַצְמוֹ בִּפְנֵיהֶם שֶׁהוּא כּוֹעֵס כְּדֵי לְיַסְּרָם וְתִהְיֶה דַּעְתּוֹ מְיֻשֶּׁבֶת בֵּינוֹ לְבֵין עַצְמוֹ כְּאָדָם שֶׁהוּא מְדַמֶּה כּוֹעֵס בִּשְׁעַת כַּעֲסוֹ וְהוּא אֵינוֹ כּוֹעֵס. אָמְרוּ חֲכָמִים הָרִאשׁוֹנִים כָּל הַכּוֹעֵס כְּאִלּוּ עוֹבֵד עֲבוֹדַת כּוֹכָבִים. וְאָמְרוּ שֶׁכָּל הַכּוֹעֵס אִם חָכָם הוּא חָכְמָתוֹ מִסְתַּלֶּקֶת מִמֶּנּוּ וְאִם נָבִיא הוּא נְבוּאָתוֹ מִסְתַּלֶּקֶת מִמֶּנּוּ. וּבַעֲלֵי כַּעַס אֵין חַיֵּיהֶם חַיִּים. לְפִיכָךְ צִוּוּ לְהִתְרַחֵק מִן הַכַּעַס עַד שֶׁיַּנְהִיג עַצְמוֹ שֶׁלֹּא יַרְגִּישׁ אֲפִלּוּ לַדְּבָרִים הַמַּכְעִיסִים וְזוֹ הִיא הַדֶּרֶךְ הַטּוֹבָה. וְדֶרֶךְ הַצַּדִּיקִים הֵן עֲלוּבִין וְאֵינָן עוֹלְבִין שׁוֹמְעִים חֶרְפָּתָם וְאֵינָם מְשִׁיבִין עוֹשִׂין מֵאַהֲבָה וּשְׂמֵחִים בְּיִסּוּרִים. וַעֲלֵיהֶם הַכָּתוּב אוֹמֵר (שופטים ה לא) "וְאֹהֲבָיו כְּצֵאת הַשֶּׁמֶשׁ בִּגְבֻרָתוֹ":

But there are dispositions within which it is forbidden for a man to follow moderation, but rather he should distance himself from one extreme to the point [of going to] the other extreme. And [one such disposition] is haughtiness, such that the good path is not that a person just be modest, but rather he should be lowly of spirit and his spirit should be very cast down. And therefore, it is stated about Moshe, our teacher (Numbers 12:3), "very humble," and it does not only state, "humble. And therefore, our sages commanded (Avot 4:4), "Be very, very, lowly of spirit." And they also said (Sotah 4b), "Anyone who is haughty is denying a fundamental principle of faith, as it stated (Deuteronomy 8:14), "And your heart become haughty and you will forget the Lord, your God." And they also said (Sotah 5a), "In excommunication is [placed] one who has contemptuousness, and even partially [so]." And so [too], anger is a very bad trait, and it is fitting for a person to distance himself from it to the other extreme. And [so], he should accustom himself to not get angry, and even about something that is fitting to get angry about. And if he wants to bring fear upon his children and his household - or upon the community if he is a an officer - and he wants to get angry with them in order that they return to the good, he should show himself to be angry in front of them in order to discipline them. But, privately, his mind should be calm about himself - like a man that pretends to get angry at the time of his anger, but he is [really] not angry. And the early sages said (Zohar, Bereishit 2:16) that anyone who gets angry, it is as if he worshiped idolatry. And they [also] said about anyone who gets angry (Pesachim 66b), "If he is a wise man, his wisdom withdraws from him, and if he is a prophet, his prophecy withdraws from him." And the lives of angry people are not lives. Therefore, they commanded to distance oneself from anger to the point that he accustoms himself not to feel even things that [truly should] cause anger, and this is the good path[in this case]. And the path of the righteous ones is to be insulted and not to insult, hearing their curse and not responding, doing [what they do] in love, and happy with afflictions (Yoma 23a). And about them the verse states (Judges 5:31), "but they that love Him are like the coming of the sun in its might."

Halacha 4ד׳

לְעוֹלָם יַרְבֶּה אָדָם בִּשְׁתִיקָה וְלֹא יְדַבֵּר אֶלָּא אוֹ בִּדְבַר חָכְמָה אוֹ בִּדְבָרִים שֶׁצָּרִיךְ לָהֶם לְחַיֵּי גּוּפוֹ. אָמְרוּ עַל רַב תַּלְמִיד רַבֵּנוּ הַקָּדוֹשׁ שֶׁלֹּא שָׂח שִׂיחָה בְּטֵלָה כָּל יָמָיו. וְזוֹ הִיא שִׂיחַת רֹב כָּל אָדָם. וַאֲפִלּוּ בְּצָרְכֵי הַגּוּף לֹא יַרְבֶּה אָדָם דְּבָרִים. וְעַל זֶה צִוּוּ חֲכָמִים וְאָמְרוּ כָּל הַמַּרְבֶּה דְּבָרִים מֵבִיא חֵטְא. וְאָמְרוּ (משנה אבות א יז) "לֹא מָצָאתִי לַגּוּף טוֹב אֶלָּא שְׁתִיקָה". וְכֵן בְּדִבְרֵי תּוֹרָה וּבְדִבְרֵי חָכְמָה יִהְיוּ דִּבְרֵי הָאָדָם מְעַטִּים וְעִנְיְנֵיהֶם מְרֻבִּים. וְהוּא שֶׁצִּוּוּ חֲכָמִים וְאָמְרוּ (גמרא פסחים ג ב) "לְעוֹלָם יִשְׁנֶה אָדָם לְתַלְמִידָיו דֶּרֶךְ קְצָרָה". אֲבָל אִם הָיוּ הַדְּבָרִים מְרֻבִּין וְהָעִנְיָן מֻעָט הֲרֵי זוֹ סִכְלוּת וְעַל זֶה נֶאֱמַר (קהלת ה ב) "כִּי בָּא הַחֲלוֹם בְּרֹב עִנְיָן וְקוֹל כְּסִיל בְּרֹב דְּבָרִים":

A person should always be indulging in silence and only speak about a matter of wisdom or about things that are required for the life of the body. They said about Rav, the student of our holy Rabbi (Yehuda HaNassi), that he never spoke idle speech all of his days - and that is the speech of most people. And about this, the sages commanded (Yoma 19b), "One who indulges in words, brings sin." And they said (Avot 1:17), "I have not found anything good for the body except silence." And so [too] with words of Torah and words of wisdom, a person's words should be few and their content should be great. And this is what the sages commanded and said (Pesachim 3:2), "A person should always review with his students in a brief fashion." But if the words are many and the content scant, behold this is foolishness and about this it is stated (Ecclesiastes 5:2), "As a dream comes with much business and the voice of a fool with many words."

Halacha 5ה׳

(משנה אבות ג יג) "סְיָג לַחָכְמָה שְׁתִיקָה". לְפִיכָךְ לֹא יְמַהֵר לְהָשִׁיב וְלֹא יַרְבֶּה לְדַבֵּר. וִילַמֵּד לַתַּלְמִידִים בְּשׁוּבָה וָנַחַת בְּלֹא צְעָקָה וּבְלֹא אֲרִיכוּת לָשׁוֹן. הוּא שֶׁאָמַר שְׁלֹמֹה (קהלת ט יז) "דִּבְרֵי חֲכָמִים בְּנַחַת נִשְׁמָעִים":

"A safeguarding fence around wisdom is silence" (Avot 3:13). Therefore one should not be quick to answer, nor indulgent in speech. And one should teach the students with tranquility and calm, without yelling and without lengthiness of speech. This is what Shlomo stated (Ecclesiastes 9:17), "The words of the wise are heard in calmness."

Halacha 6ו׳

אָסוּר לָאָדָם לְהַנְהִיג עַצְמוֹ בְּדִבְרֵי חֲלָקוֹת וּפִתּוּי. וְלֹא יִהְיֶה אֶחָד בַּפֶּה וְאֶחָד בַּלֵּב אֶלָּא תּוֹכוֹ כְּבָרוֹ וְהָעִנְיָן שֶׁבַּלֵּב הוּא הַדָּבָר שֶׁבַּפֶּה. וְאָסוּר לִגְנֹב דַּעַת הַבְּרִיּוֹת וַאֲפִלּוּ דַּעַת הַנָּכְרִי. כֵּיצַד. לֹא יִמְכֹּר לְנָכְרִי בְּשַׂר נְבֵלָה בִּמְקוֹם בְּשַׂר שְׁחוּטָה. וְלֹא מִנְעָל שֶׁל מֵתָה בִּמְקוֹם מִנְעָל שֶׁל שְׁחוּטָה. וְלֹא יְסַרְהֵב בַּחֲבֵרוֹ שֶׁיֹּאכַל אֶצְלוֹ וְהוּא יוֹדֵעַ שֶׁאֵינוֹ אוֹכֵל. וְלֹא יַרְבֶּה לוֹ בְּתִקְרֹבֶת וְהוּא יוֹדֵעַ שֶׁאֵינוֹ מְקַבֵּל. וְלֹא יִפְתַּח לוֹ חֲבִיּוֹת שֶׁהוּא צָרִיךְ לְפָתְחָן לְמָכְרָן כְּדֵי לְפַתּוֹתוֹ שֶׁבִּשְׁבִיל כְּבוֹדוֹ פָּתַח וְכֵן כָּל כַּיּוֹצֵא בּוֹ. וַאֲפִלּוּ מִלָּה אַחַת שֶׁל פִּתּוּי וְשֶׁל גְּנֵבַת דַּעַת אָסוּר, אֶלָּא שְׂפַת אֱמֶת וְרוּחַ נָכוֹן וְלֵב טָהוֹר מִכָּל עָמָל וְהַוּוֹת:

It is forbidden for a person to conduct himself with duplicitous and seductive words, and he should not have one thing in the mouth and [another] thing in the heart. Rather, his inside should be like his outside, and the matter that is in his heart should be the matter that is in his mouth. And it is forbidden to deceive (literally, steal the mind) of the creatures, and even to deceive the gentile. How is this? He should not sell the meat of a carcass to a gentile in place of the meat of a slaughtered animal. And he should not supplicate his fellow to eat with him when he knows that he will not eat [with him]. And he should not indulge in [the offering of] a gift when he know that [his fellow] will not accept [it]. And he should not open barrels [of wine] for him, when he needs to open them in order to sell [the wine], in order to seduce him [into thinking] that he opened them for his honor. And so [too], all similar to this. And even one word of seduction and deceit is forbidden. But rather his language should be true and his spirit should be correct and his heart should be pure from all oppression and tricks.

Halacha 7ז׳

לֹא יְהֵא אָדָם בַּעַל שְׂחוֹק וּמַהֲתַלּוֹת וְלֹא עָצֵב וְאוֹנֵן אֶלָּא שָׂמֵחַ. כָּךְ אָמְרוּ חֲכָמִים שְׂחוֹק וְקַלּוּת רֹאשׁ מַרְגִּילִין אֶת הָאָדָם לְעֶרְוָה. וְצִוּוּ שֶׁלֹּא יְהֵא אָדָם פָּרוּץ בִּצְחוֹק וְלֹא עָצֵב וּמִתְאַבֵּל אֶלָּא מְקַבֵּל אֶת כָּל הָאָדָם בְּסֵבֶר פָּנִים יָפוֹת. וְכֵן לֹא יִהְיֶה בַּעַל נֶפֶשׁ רְחָבָה נִבְהָל לַהוֹן וְלֹא עָצֵב וּבָטֵל מִמְּלָאכָה. אֶלָּא בַּעַל עַיִן טוֹבָה מְמַעֵט בְּעֵסֶק וְעוֹסֵק בַּתּוֹרָה. וְאוֹתוֹ הַמְּעַט שֶׁהוּא חֶלְקוֹ יִשְׂמַח בּוֹ. וְלֹא בַּעַל קְטָטָה וְלֹא בַּעַל קִנְאָה וְלֹא בַּעַל תַּאֲוָה וְלֹא רוֹדֵף אַחַר הַכָּבוֹד. כָּךְ אָמְרוּ חֲכָמִים הַקִּנְאָה וְהַתַּאֲוָה וְהַכָּבוֹד מוֹצִיאִין אֶת הָאָדָם מִן הָעוֹלָם. כְּלָלוֹ שֶׁל דָּבָר יֵלֵךְ בַּמִּדָּה הַבֵּינוֹנִית שֶׁבְּכָל דֵּעָה וְדֵעָה עַד שֶׁיִּהְיוּ כָּל דֵּעוֹתָיו מְכֻוָּנוֹת בָּאֶמְצָעוּת. וְהוּא שֶׁשְּׁלֹמֹה אָמַר (משלי ד כו) "פַּלֵּס מַעְגַּל רַגְלֶךָ וְכָל דְּרָכֶיךָ יִכֹּנוּ":

A person should not be a joker and prankster and not sad and morose, but rather [he should] be happy. So said the sages (Avot 3:13), "Joking and lightheartedness acclimate toward promiscuity." And they commanded that a person not be uncontrolled in joking and not sad and mournful, but rather that he greets every person with a pleasant countenance. And so [too], he should not be very acquisitive and carried away by assets and not lazy and idle from work, but rather someone with a [generous] eye - minimizing in business and involved in Torah [study]. And he should rejoice in that little that is his portion. And [he should] not be argumentative and not envious and not lustful and not chase after honor. So said the sages (Avot 4:21), "Envy, lust and honor drive a man from the world." The general principle of the matter is that he should walk in the moderate trait in each and every disposition, until all of his dispositions correspond to the middle. And this is what Shlomo stated (Proverbs 4:26), "Survey the course of your feet, and all your paths will be firm."